I am not trying to seduce you.

Maybe there is a god...

...because sometimes weird shit happens. The alternative theory is that all cats (and dogs) turn into bipeds whilst humans are away. Or maybe just cats (and dogs) with human names. I don't think you get it. The Reader's Digest version goes a little something like this: my mom and I were talking about this froyo coupon she misplaced.

(For the record, froyo places are as abundant here as herpes in the bars of Iowa City, but less abundant than donut places. If you wanted a pie chart, it'd go donut places, froyo joints, herpes.)

Blah blah blah, can't find the coup, yadda yadda yadda. I thought she said she needed some tupperware right now so I get some out. Turns out she didn't. So I set it on the counter. We leave. We get back.

What's on top of the tupperware?

THE FROYO COUP.

So, like I said, either there's a god or cats can walk and talk (and find froyo coupons) just like the rest of us. I've heard crazier theories before. If it turns out there be a god, I don't think he'll give me very many brownie points for replacing his existence with the metamorphosis of cats. Ah, well. You win some, you lose some.

I'm not sure anything can really top that. Maybe Point Dume. Say it after me, "Point DOOOOOOOOM". But, alas, it is pronounced Point [du'meI], or doo-MAY. It would be totally cooler if it were pronounced like the former, but it's not. Luckily, it's still bitchin'. Like oceans up to your eyeballs everywhere you look bitchin'. Free stuff is always the best stuff. Like Snapple. Only Snapple isn't free and they stopped making the best kinds like, 10 years ago. Kiwi-strawberry? Fruit punch?!

Oh, Point Dume is a point in Malibu. It slightly resembles the cliff I have in my head that I want to get married on. No groom jumping jokes here, please.

I think, once I return, one of the highlights of this trip will be the insane number of times I heard the Macarena on the radio (read: 2. May not seem like much initially, but seriously think about it.) I am awed and frightened by you if you knew this title was from that song. Do you guys remember sixth grade? When we would do it in music class? ...We were awesome.

I am also turning over a new leaf. I will never have a bonfire in someone's backyard again. Because once you go beach bonfire, you never...come back.

And why does no one like mushy french fries? I love mushy french fries.