Pococurante

"If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them to tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea."
 -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Part One: Just a come-on from the whores on 7th Avenue.

Singing is awesome.

Ostensibly, ILA is paying me $15 an hour to listen to videos on YouTube. Here is one I want to show you for two reasons: 1) The guitar player sort of looks like my cousin but with a thicker, darker head of hair and 2) the caption. The harmonies are a bit off sometimes, but if you're like me and you grew up wondering why you couldn't be a Coleman™ cooler player, you'll appreciate it.
                                                     

                         "Oh, so what instrument do you play?"
                                 "Uh, I play the tree."
                                  Bitches love trees.

 I've had a draft of a blog on here for the past two months or so, but most of those thoughts are no longer relevant. Fortunately. It seems like all the people here are changing -- luckily for me, it's people I've kept on the periphery. Eventually, it'll be me and it'll be the people I love, but more on that when I feel like being a complete parasite on my own happiness (neither of us will have to wait too long). It's weird how you are not your thoughts. How you can monitor thoughts. And then how you can monitor the thoughts that are monitoring your thoughts. And then how you can monitor the thoughts that are monitoring the thoughts that are monitoring your thoughts; how is it that some languages aren't recursive?

Saying you like Fight Club is like saying you like breathing or looking at Brad Pitt with his shirt off or voluntary pooping.

Sometimes I build a blog around pictures I've found and sometimes I find pictures to round out my pre-existing blog but most of the time it just does itself. It's like each blog is a puzzle and sometimes it takes me /məns/ to find all the pieces but they're there even if I don't know it and I will look in the places they are without knowing where I should look because it's Jackie-puzzle time and I just can't fuck it up. The only thing. It's beautiful. There is a 'me' that isn't monitoring my thoughts but exists in my choices and she's consistent as hell. Well, in comparision to the fugacity of my moods.



Part Two: Order us some golf shoes or else we'll never get out of this place alive!

I love things like this. Dumbed-down things for dumbed-down people. But the video doesn't fit width-wise... So I will put the video here.

Seriously. I mean, I read "A Brief History of The World" awhile ago. I vaguely remember Alexander the Great being mentioned and some guy named Darius or something -- and I most certainly remember that the book was awesome -- but that's it. I've literally sat down on several occasions to memorize important dates in the rise and fall of the Roman Empire and I can still only give you a loose ballpark. BUT I LOVE THIS SHIT...I just can't remember any of it (am I depressed?). Which is why a sped-up, dorky version is my cup of tea. Those UCBerkeley lectures I've been listening to are a lot more scholarly and I really enjoy them, but with all the pretty colors on these videos my mind doesn't wander off nearly as much. And that professor never did email me back.What a penis.

Now I'm onto 'Through the Wormhole' with Morgan Freeman and I'm to the part where they explain that time travel for us is on the same scale as building rocket ships for an amoeba, but, eventually, we'll have computers so fucking ridiculously intelligent that they can simulate any world we desire (emphasis on the past) and all of us can live like we're in Avatar, only we get to choose and don't have to be blue, so that'll have to do (or it could be right now). Also: back in the day, Stephen Hawking was kind of a babe.

This squirrel and I have a ridiculous amount of things in common.

And then there's this (black...(the ellipses are to address my own racism)) scientist dude who will leave you wondering if you'll ever accomplish anything worth talking about. Apart from all the deeper questions this makes me ask myself, more importantly, I emerge from this YouTube link wondering why the hell my life isn't full of charismatic, brilliant, affable middle-aged men. They've gotta be somewhere.



Part Three:

Here are two things in this life of mine that I will never, ever get over:

I'm sorry.

Part Four: Why HI-Ving an ice cream cone makes more sense than literary trends

I'm now going to summarize '50 Shades of Grey' for you. Please, bear with me. I do have a point.

1. Girl and boy meet. Girl is introverted, young, inexperienced, shy. Boy is rich, ridiculously handsome, mysterious, and has only had this big of a boner for her.
2. Girl and boy are drawn to each other like moths to flames (reiterated verbatim on many occasions). Girl has an ethnic friend who is in love with her and would be better for her, but he stands no chance against boy's magic.
3. Boy is clearly a freak; girl doesn't know why.
4. Girl finds out how boy is a freak. Has to decide whether or not that's too freakish for her.
5. It's not. Because she's so in love with him (after a matter of days).
6. Girl is brainwashed by boy.
7. Girl cannot talk about her relationship to anyone. Subsequently, all her relationships suffer.
8. Girl experiences a tumult of emotion. Eventually they part, because boy is not healthy for girl.

There you have it. OR. WAIT. DID I JUST SUMMARIZE TWILIGHT PLOT POINT BY PLOT POINT?

I THINK I DID.

Other similarities include: horrible writing, repetitive writing, inconsistent writing, implausible writing, etc. Inquire for examples if you feel so obliged.

Which brings me to my question: Why, America? Why do you like the same tripe over and over again? Why is it that mainstream books seem to be mirroring mainstream music now? I mean, "I'm Sexy and I Know It? Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah?" Has this been happening for a long time but it isn't till recently that I've noticed because it's like climbing down a mountain -- at the top it's fucking cold, and in the middle it's cold, but you really don't notice it's that much warmer till you get low enough?

Maybe.