That Croesus wants to capriciously inviscate my face?

Part I: Her Fast-Luck Oil and Her Magic Stones

(The following is purposefully vituperative.) 

I had a good Vietnam day today. I think it has something to do with my propinquity to the pretty parts of Ho Chi Minh. When I spend my time in eastern Phu Nhuan and eastern district 7, my mood is automatically ameliorated. I also spent a large amount of time in the workplace discalced, which is a recent goal of mine for my career as a whole. Is that too hoydenish? At least my feet aren’t papilionaceous! I’ve been worried that that’s too overpowering a quality of mine, that it’s pernicious to my quote-unquote attractiveness. That my hoydenism is perceived as too gauche. I’m not at all cognoscitive when it comes to this situation. I wish I were clairsentient. Once in a while, I have a flash of gnosis, but it’s always too ephemeral and fugacious. If it’s anathema to my happiness, shouldn’t that give me a strong predilection for change? Maybe I should do some more noctiviganting in district 7 on Charlie’s scooter to discover some aphorisms about myself. Too bad I’m not usafructuary to it. Maybe it’s because I suffer from a slight case of hypobulia. But change is ineluctable, hypobulia or not. At least I’m not a bobadil or a harridan—I mean, right? And if I’m conscious of it, my voice is pretty damn mellisonant, if you ask me. Please don’t inveigh; I would find that to be a peccadillo. However, you may inveigh my tumultuary way (check out that pulchritudinous meter!) of stringing these iterative verbages together. 

Part II: The Return of Bobbejaan

You either found the above completely unremarkable (save perhaps its logic or validity), amusing and clever, or highly pretentious and obnoxious. If the latter, I do believe you’re just jealous of my command of the English language—and that includes AAVE. I mean, c’mon! I got all those words into ONE loosely connected paragraph! Not too shabby! Feel free to leave me a comment if you’re overcome with uncontrollable emotion, whichever pole it may lie on. 

I’m about 5 hours into the spelling bee (clearly). I finished part 1 of 4 at 55% accuracy and I think that’s a large enough sample that I needn’t do any more math. My computer is having serious troubles downloading it, so I may have to settle for only the first half (8 hours). Life is full of constant disappointments, you know? BUT—they used the word ‘bobbejaan’ again this year; closure is had!

Life is exactly like the spelling bee and exactly not like the spelling bee simultaneously. All the pretty girls are one by one dropping off, like synchronized healthy lemmings, leaving the crippled, blind ones stuck in some tree about a mile away from the fatal cliff, not realizing how much they should relish life. Also, the spelling bee is entirely based on luck. Who wants to be the kid that has to spell 'mycetophagous' and who wants to slap the kid that gets the word ‘motif’ or ‘alchemy’? All these kids have read Harry Potter! And why did they give the Indian girl ‘masala’?

Riverside Casino and Golf Resort once gave me $30.

I really need to work on my French spelling patterns. I’m abysmal. You’d think I’d be good at it! Unless it’s food. Duh. I’m solid at Latin and pretty solid in Greek and my German could be plenty worse, but mon francais est terrible. I think it’s because Dr. Bailey pronounces all the French words anglicized and I then change my spelling of them accordingly, knowing they’re French and spelling it using French phonetics. Knowledge isn’t always power, kids.  What’s more, Dr. Bailey has a wide-brimmed glass of red wine to sip during the kids’ ponderings. Could be that. 

Also: (as if you wanted to know more about my spelling habits), I’m super hit or miss. I can’t spell vinaigrette, but tokomak? No fucking problem. Khong fucking sao. Bildungsroman? Consider it done.

This is a people shooting hat...I shoot people in this hat.

I LOVE ROOT WORDS. How cool is it to hear the word ‘terraqueous’ and know EXACTLY how to spell it and EXACTLY what it means (…give or take) without any explanation?! SO COOOOOL! I still remember the first time I ran across the word 'acephalous'. My kid better be an awesome speller. He or she is going to know how to spell ‘omelette’, if I’ve anything to do with it. I started teaching my E6s prefixes and their minds were blown. I also went into a savant-like explanation of the word 'hook', in every sense, alone and phrasal. The white board was beautiful.


Part III: This next part is me reining it back in, actually.

Another also: there’s a dog outside my window that has recently graduated from begging to not be beaten again to pleading for the culprit to stop gnawing slowly through his hind legs. And in my summer school class, that rooster cockafucking(the only things cooler than prefixes are infixes)doodledoos all the way till 11:30. If you don't care about infixes (don't knock it till you've tried it, yo.), skip the next three pictures.

Then I should've said 'cockadoodlefuckingdoos'...DID YOU EVEN NOTICE?

WAIT WAIT THIS IS INTERESTING:

SOOO COOOOOL! No? Just me?

This is Cantonese. I wonder if Lezgian has infixes...

 

 

 

 

                                        

If anyone wants to know what I did in college, I'm now referring them to my blog. This is the exact format of every day that was my life, only half the information was blanked out and we had to fill 'er in using solely our desperation and will to live.

Man, English sucks. I used to defend it because its idiosyncrasies are abounding (a product of its bastardization, which is super neat) but now that I know that Tagalog has innermorpheme infixes, Cantonese has 'devil' as an infix, and Esperanto's 'learn-ed' words are harder to pronounce than their layman's counterparts, I give up. Lingua franca, my ass.

< /geekout >

xoxo,

J

PS - It's almost 1 AM and the dog is nowhere to be heard.